AAYL I'm thinking lists.

2003.

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Wednesday 30th of July

A long one for one, a short one for another, and nothing for the third completes this rounded out, obsequious puzzle. Here I go, shaving the brown grit off the delete key again. Flirting with disaster, turning a blind eye to the truth, and so on and so forth as I trout out all the cliché like old men in half-way houses, turning grey and waiting to die. I need lists, lists to operate in daily life. Otherwise everything becomes too muddled and roundabout in a peg-in-square-hole sort'o way. Which would you prefer; a profound discussion on my decision to call off the wedding, a well thought out discourse on swearing in Jamaica, or the thirtieth day of the month? What a cheat - it jumps from the twenty-ninth to the thirty-first in this rundown, barhopping part of town. I'm thinking dark green, I'm thinking low key light, I'm thinking gray, I'm thinking stomachs pushed against counters and chests hanging into flickering, dusty space. Don't start; just never stop. Oh, there you go again, pulsing away into the night on dreams and earthy feelings best left crushed. Crushed by what? Forget that, I've moved on. I'm thinking pink, I'm thinking beige, I'm thinking blue bells, shadows hanging overhead, bottles clinking together, a vow to peace being exchanged by swollen, bloated corpses. Jaws are dropping into the sink; teeth are spilling across the floor. What can I see in the mirror? I see nothing, it feels like everything, shouldn't I be in there somewhere? Perhaps I'm turning up later on in the piece. All this glowing, phosphorescent, hanging residue is a future imprint of my imminent arrival. I'm thinking lists, I'm thinking numbers, I'm thinking words, I'm thinking non-sequiturs into non-sequiturs into seconds, turning and probing into the horizon beyond the horizon, touching the twin axes’ of the earth and moon, melting down and being cast into the great ocean of loss. Let it cool down for a while, then we'll fine the sucker twenty dollars.